Wednesday, July 12, 2006
My Uzbek Closet
In those first months, I felt guilty about being in the closet in Uzbekistan. As though I was being dishonest with people. This was a genuine challenge for me -- especially since I really did like the people and felt that this barrier -- this inability to come out, would always stand in the way of true friendship.
Even of my friends who were quite progressive in their views, or friends who I knew would come around, I was never quite sure how they would react, whether they would accept it. Furthermore, I was concerned about burdening them with my secret. I'm certain that those who got to know me really well suspected. With many, they knew, but it was tacitly agreed upon that it was not a subject for discussion. It was quite a tightrope I walked.
Just to give you a sense of what the attitudes are like there, and what it's like for a gay person in Uzbekistan, I found this link to an online bulletin board in Uzbekistan:
http://forum.arbuz.com/showthread.php?t=18421&page=2
The topic:
It's interesting to me that they're even having these discussions. Most of the responses are rather compassionate and tolerant.
or
Some are the usual conservative, to be expected:
Some are outright silly, and sadly, the most typical, in my experience there:
In those first months, I felt guilty about being in the closet in Uzbekistan. As though I was being dishonest with people. This was a genuine challenge for me -- especially since I really did like the people and felt that this barrier -- this inability to come out, would always stand in the way of true friendship.
Even of my friends who were quite progressive in their views, or friends who I knew would come around, I was never quite sure how they would react, whether they would accept it. Furthermore, I was concerned about burdening them with my secret. I'm certain that those who got to know me really well suspected. With many, they knew, but it was tacitly agreed upon that it was not a subject for discussion. It was quite a tightrope I walked.
Just to give you a sense of what the attitudes are like there, and what it's like for a gay person in Uzbekistan, I found this link to an online bulletin board in Uzbekistan:
http://forum.arbuz.com/showthread.php?t=18421&page=2
The topic:
Imagine your best friend, whom you adore, comes out to you about his homosexuality. What would you do? Would you accept the fact and keep your friendship? Would you think he is freak and keep distance from him? Would you do anything else?
It's interesting to me that they're even having these discussions. Most of the responses are rather compassionate and tolerant.
One of my (not best, but close) friends told me recently he was gay. I can see he is happier now since "coming out of the closet". And if he is happy - I am happy for him.
or
We do not choose friends for their sexual orientation (unless you make friends to get jiggy with them). He was already gay when your have started building your friendship; you liked his ways, you cherished him without knowing he was gay. What's changed now? Really?
Some are the usual conservative, to be expected:
Man, I am warning you -as a straight friend.
Read in Quran how ALLAH dealt with the people of Lot....Let all gays and gay-friends read it....before it is too late....That is very dangerous. And that is what Shaytan and Kuffar want to happen worldwide.style="font-style:italic;">
Some are outright silly, and sadly, the most typical, in my experience there:
me for examle used to be fan of Elton John for long time till the day¶ 7:53 AM
i was informed that he was a gay.
